For the record, the most difficult part living with a baby - in a purely physical sense - is the 6:30 a.m. wake up. Because not only does Nora wake up then, but, after she eats, she is ready to get down to serious business. Like do projects, schedule meetings, balance the checkbook, you name it.

And I’ve been thinking about ways to make the situation better, and the most alluring option would be to have a servant enter the bedroom with cups of coffee for J and I. A servant who would then change Nora’s diaper and bring us back to us all clean and everything. Because coffee and a clean child would be more do-able at 6:30 a.m., you know what I’m saying? When most reasonable people are still cuddled in bed or, at the very worst, watching the morning news in their bathrobe and not pulling their ten-month-old from the wine rack for the 400 or 500th time that day.

This person’s pay would be…well, free, because this awesome servant person love making our lives better. I realize people have nannies and sometimes the nannies do stuff like this but I’m thinking more along the lines of Mr. Belvedere, but less British and proper because I want someone who is not going to judge us for being in our pajamas and all, because then, what’s the point?

That’s all I want. And, I mean, a book deal and maybe a bigger TV if we’re really going crazy here.