Ok. I know it seems like I didn’t try very hard with the reading. But for some reason “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest” (which was AWESOME) took me forever. I think it’s because I insisted on trying - in my mind - to pronounce all those Swedish locations, and that added time to the project.

And “For Whom the Bell Tolls…” Well. I know that’s a great work of literature that, somehow, in my years of fervent reading of the classics just for fun during high school, and my study of literature during college, I missed out on. So I started reading it. And, you guys, it made me feel sad. I know you can’t simply say that about Hemingway: “It made me sad,” and then put it down. So I’m continuing on, because I know how wonderful it is and how happy I will be when I finish it. Which might be about a year from now because I think I’m going to read it during the day when I can, a few pages at a time, and retreat back to my murder mysteries at night. Come on, you know I deserve it.

But as for the list as a whole, honestly, it made my life better. I know that sounds crazy - that a list that included “have a Frappuccino” made my life better - but it really did. Little things, like the fact that instead of watching TV I’d opt to take the dog for a walk down by the seawall, where I’d have a few moments of peace. Or that I’d take Nora down there instead of staying inside and doing the dishes, and it wouldn’t be peaceful, but it would be really fun.

I ran the New Haven Road Race over Labor Day weekend, and it was so much better being a participant than an observer, as I have been in the past when J runs these things. Plus, it was the first competitive race I’d run since high school cross country, and it was a hell of a lot less stressful. The smell of freshly cut grass on an autumn morning still makes my muscles clench up in nervous anticipation - that’s how strong those memories of cross country are for me - but this was simply a good time. I took it easy and ran alongside the thousands who were taking it pretty easy, too. I listened to the live bands play and waved to people cheering from the sidelines.

The list was good for inflating my ego, as well, but in a purely constructive way. I was very proud of myself when I impulsively latched on to the long trail of people who’d just started on the Yale walking tour one day when I just happened to be passing by. I realized happily when cutting up the first tomatoes we’d picked from our garden for tacos one night that - sweet! - I could cross off another goal.

I got all worked up about the fact that I hadn’t published any column-like essays at the end of the summer, so when my brother suggested I write something for The Huffington Post, I worked harder and faster than I would have otherwise, with a piece on the challenges of being a stay-at-home mother the result.

And although I didn’t do it all (I seriously can’t believe we didn’t go to Lenny’s), I’m excited to keep working on the list this fall. I can’t wait to try baking my own bread, especially because I hate baking and I need to get over my fears. And also because, I mean, anything to avoid reading “For Whom the Bell Tolls.” Ha! Kidding! I know I’m gonna love it! I should read some right now! Or, well, “SVU” might be on or something…so I don’t know if I’ve exactly got the time…

It was the summer of 2010.

go to Maine
have a Frappuccino
walk by the water almost every day
drink (most of) our wine
read “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest”
reread “Wuthering Heights”
make mint iced tea with my mint plant
run a road race
grow and eat our own tomatoes
see the coffee exhibit at the Peabody
publish another first person essay
eat at Lenny’s (again)
go to Poland
see some fireworks
take Nora to the beach
take a walking tour of Yale
read “For Whom the Bell Tolls”
show my parents how to video chat
publish another first person essay
buy some new bookcases
read a non-fiction book
read another non-fiction book
take a class, any class
organize the basement
go to Scranton
bake my own bread
steam my own mussels
see a live concert
have a picnic in Prospect Park
have coffee on the patio

And by the way, what was I THINKING with all those books I was going to read?

Taken my my father on his Blackberry while I chatted with my parents and other relatives who were up in Maine. My Dad later told my brother that talking to Nora on “Skypee” was incredible.

Have a great Labor Day weekend, everyone!

go to Maine
have a Frappuccino
walk by the water almost every day
drink (most of) our wine
read “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest”
reread “Wuthering Heights”
make mint iced tea with my mint plant
run a road race
grow and eat our own tomatoes
see the coffee exhibit at the Peabody
publish another first person essay
eat at Lenny’s (again)
go to Poland
see some fireworks
take Nora to the beach
take a walking tour of Yale
read “For Whom the Bell Tolls”
show my parents how to video chat
publish another first person essay
buy some new bookcases
read a non-fiction book
read another non-fiction book
take a class, any class
organize the basement
go to Scranton
bake my own bread
steam my own mussels
see a live concert
have a picnic in Prospect Park
have coffee on the patio

Went to Poland. Saw Max and Kasia get married. Danced all night. Witnessed extreme vodka drinking. Reconnected with old friends. Made new ones. Drove through beautiful countryside in a tiny car. Remembered how much I love stick shift. Ate pierogies. Met an adorable puppy. Learned how to say “thank you” in the native tongue. Learned no other Polish words. Didn’t get lost…that much. Saw castles and cathedrals in Krakow and Prague. Found a fire-breathing dragon. Took ice cream breaks and pictures and had very few stressful moments. Relaxed in bustling historical squares over coffee. Slept in palaces and former communist holding cells. Watched our child charm countless strangers. And more stories to come.

I used Julia Child’s recipe for moules a la mariniere. And then we ate them on the front steps with fresh bread from local Italian deli.

Um, I have a lot of reading and writing to do. I’m also debating whether the cocktail making “class” we took at a local bar and restaurant counts for this list. I say yes. And you guys? What’s the verdict?

go to Maine
have a Frappuccino
walk by the water almost every day
drink (most of) our wine
read “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest”
reread “Wuthering Heights”
make mint iced tea with my mint plant
run a road race
grow and eat our own tomatoes
see the coffee exhibit at the Peabody
publish another first person essay
eat at Lenny’s (again)
go to Poland
see some fireworks
take Nora to the beach
take a walking tour of Yale
read “For Whom the Bell Tolls”
show my parents how to video chat
publish another first person essay
buy some new bookcases
read a non-fiction book
read another non-fiction book
take a class, any class
organize the basement
go to Scranton
bake my own bread
steam my own mussels
see a live concert
have a picnic in Prospect Park
have coffee on the patio

Ok guys, I’m just going to go ahead and admit it, I’m a bad napper. Real bad. Despite the fact that my parents are both pretty practiced at the art of napping - my father more of an extended afternoon napper, and my mother the queen of the twenty minute power nap - I’m no good at it myself.

The problem is that when I lie down to take a nap I start analyzing the hell out of everything. What I want to do is successfully take a power nap, because that’s the only kind of nap that’s an ok idea, in my opinion. The reason I think that way is because, let’s say I take a long nap, a one, two or - Jesus - three hour nap? Well, I wake up from the nap and I want to kill everybody. Not kidding.

I don’t know if other people feel this way. Do you? Like you want to kill everybody when you get up from your long nap? That you wake from your deep slumber to discover that, DAMNIT, it is the same day, but it feels like a different day, HELP ME I feel so weird that I could punch someone right in the face? Does that happen to you guys?

I’ve taken some naps like that when I’ve been short on sleep from the night before, and every time I take one of those naps I swear I’ll never take one again. That I will only power nap. But, like I said, when I try to power nap, I start thinking, and I start worrying that my power nap will turn into a long, kill-everybody nap, and then I figure, “Screw it, this isn’t a good idea.”

Anyway, last week I took one of these long naps. I was really tired and Nora was asleep. I just got right under the covers and it felt so comfy and cool, and I thought - deluding myself - this is no big deal, I will just sleep for a little while.

Cut to two hours later. Nora’s crying and I awake suddenly and, literally, can barely move because the sleep I’d just experienced was so deep and extreme and awesome - except not all that awesome because I suddenly realize I have to get up and care for a child and I could not hate the world more. World, I hate you.

I was in such sad shape that I actually went in to Nora’s room, got down on the floor and lay there for a few minutes as she looked at me quizzically through the bars of her crib. I told her, “Mommy just needs a few minutes, Nora.” I think she got it, or she saw the insanity in my eyes or whatever.

I finally managed to get her up and get both of us downstairs where I sat there in my zombie-like state while she played with her toys. All I could think was that I needed some iced tea. I know, that’s a really weird thought. Especially because I don’t drink iced tea all that often. But that was the only way. I needed a cold glass of iced tea - not coffee - or I was going to die. Or at the very least have a truly horrible afternoon.

Because this was such an urgent need, I summoned the strength to boil the water and steep the tea, and when it was cool enough I poured it into my big glass pitcher. I added lemon and lots of mint from my mint plant and after letting it sit in the refrigerator for a little while, I filled a glass with ice and poured myself some.

That iced tea was everything I thought it would be. I did it. I made mint iced tea with my mint plant and not only way it delicious, but it saved my life.