Why I love Rachael Ray (and why she is better than Giada, who is really too skinny to have a cooking show)

I remember it well, my brother and I flipping through the television stations one day, perhaps during Christmas or Thanksgiving break, and happening upon Rachael Ray, hosting "30 Minute Meals" on the Food Network. "There's something wrong with her," my brother said. "She's too much. She doesn't know how to do the whole TV thing."

I agreed. But we were wrong.

It turns out Rachael Ray really knows how "to do the whole TV thing."

My initial dislike of the woman was to be expected, I think. Liking her, as a young adult, would have been akin to observing a teenager, upon seeing his or her father exit the house in two different shades of plaid and neon socks to boot, and smiling at him. Saying, "There's my Dad. Isn't he great?" and then sauntering over and giving him a big hug. As teens and young adults we aren't capable of loving what - to us - seems inherently uncool, even though we view those who don't care about what others think of them as leaders and exceptionally cool. I remember a particular counselor I had at sleep away camp who wore whatever to the dining hall. Pajamas if she was felt like it. She was really close to her family, too, and didn't mind drawing attention to herself. "How cool," I thought. She just does what she wants. What I didn't realize was that I, nervously tucking my carefully-picked-out t-shirt into my carefully-picked-out shorts, was not at all headed in that direction. It would take me years before I even got close.

Thinking Rachael Ray was ridiculous when I first saw her show, therefore, was absolutely predictable. Watching the Food Network in itself wasn't something I admitted readily, as I do now, first of all, and Rachael embodied a certain nerdy enthusiasm and self confidence I wasn't quite ready to embrace. Growing fond of her took years.

Before we lived in the house we rent now, J and I had the fortune to rent a lovely, spacious house at an affordable price. There was a large master bedroom and we placed a television on the dresser at the foot of the bed. In order to save money we only ordered the very most basic of basic cable and could only choose between only a few stations, one of which was the Food Network. This is the first time in my life I remember watching it purely as entertainment, and not because I thought it was funny to do so. "Look at me, I'm watching the Food Network. How cute is that?"

Not that I was, or ever will be a great cook, but I liked the format. Watching cooking and entertaining shows was relaxing, plus gave me some ideas for things we could make at home. I'd sometimes leave it on in the bedroom as I did stuff around the house. It was like having company over. Company, who made delicious food.

Rachael Ray's 30 Minute Meals was on two times, back to back, in evening. And at first I made fun of her like I always had, and like everyone else seemed to do. I made fun of her for saying "EVOO" for extra virgin olive oil. I made fun of her saying things like "yum-o," and "delish," because who in the name of God says things like that? Seriously.

But it wasn't too long before I started to slowly respect, just a tiny bit, some of the things I'd despised about her. Her garbage bowl, for instance, which she keeps on the counter in order to dispose of trash quickly, without having to run over to the trash can all the time. It had seemed so un-elegant. So typically American, and not in a good way. But then I tried it and it worked out pretty well.

It was more than just her time-saving strategies, however.

It's her. It's the way she utters those catch phrases without a moment's pause and you just know that not-only does she think they're cute, but she hasn't even bothered to think about whether or not anybody thinks they're annoying. Who's got the time? Rachael is too busy building an empire on sheer popularity. Despite all the times I've heard friends complain, "Oh God, I hate her," the majority of Americans doesn't share the view. Rachael Ray has multiple cookbooks and multiple shows. She has a her own line of knives. She is loud and uncouth and people adore her.

I now count myself amongst those who love Rachael Ray. I love her unconditionally. I don't care if she lets some new monstrosity loose, if she comes up with some new recipe, with a title so embarassing I'm reticent to even try it out (see: "Who Ya Callin' Chicken? Chunky Chicken White Chili," and "Goodness Gracious, That's Great Goulash!"). J got me her cookbook a while back, and while I've tried a few of the recipes, it's not my absolute favorite. Among the Food Network set, we really like Giada's "Everyday Italian" book, and my real favorites are some of the little recipe collections I've picked up over the years, for instance, a collaboration of recipes put together by Italian American women, many of the recipes copied from their relatives.

But it doesn't matter that I don't love the recipes, that I don't value Rachael's shows - "30 Minute Meals," "$40 a Day" - purely for the food content. Her attitude is what I value. The attitude that seems to say she doesn't care what anyone thinks in a world where style and glamour rule. Rachael Ray reminds me that it's ok to be passionate and ridiculous and yes, uncool, because it's going out there and doing that matters, and she's doing a lot. And she doesn't care if you're a pretty bad cook or that you don't always buy organic or that maybe you're wearing plaid and neon, she wants you to do it, too.

When I was just a little girl

Before we left my parents' house after our last trip to DC, I decided to run up to my room and fetch a basket full of my old diaries so I could force upon you, readers, some of the most self-indulgent writing. What better way to attract people to my blog, I thought, than to assault the public with my childish and adolescent ramblings? I thought so. There is no better way. While some of the later diary entries - those written in various books when I was, oh, between 15 and 18-years-old - are so mortifying I wonder if I'll dare share them online like this (not because of anything I did, mind you, but because of the non-existent drama I created - believe me, all I was doing was getting decent grades and sneaking sips of gin and juice with my girlfriends), I have decided that the earlier entries are totally suitable, even enlightening.

For instance, this gem from fifth grade, which includes the first inklings of my lifelong hatred of volleyball:

Jan. 11, 1989 School was the same old boring school today. Especially in gym. We played volleyball, again! We have been playing volleyball for at least three weeks now and everyone is getting sick and tired of it. See you tomorrow. BYE!

A lot of my early writing is like this. Explaining what I did in school that day, how many days are left until summer vacation, whether or not my teachers are nice to me. Etc. In other words, some of the most THRILLING prose you've ever laid eyes on.

Oct. 6, 1989 Dear Diary, Today is Friday. Tomorrow I'll be spending the night at Sarah E.'s house with Sarah H. Horseback riding is getting harder but I still like it. BYE!

But on October 15 of that same year, things started to get interesting. On that date, after "J.A." (junior assembly, for all you barbarians who didn't have to learn ballroom dancing as 11-year-olds, is where we'd all don white gloves and party dresses and learn how to socialize with young men who were similarly gussied up - you know, just like normal kids), I listed all the boys I danced with. Why did I do this? My guess is a) I realized this would be hysterical to my older self or b) I wanted to pretend that I was more into boys than horseback riding, because that seemed more normal.

This next entry illustrates my keen fashion sense as a pre-teen. And believe me, when I was 11, I was hot. Especially when I got braces. And then had them on for four years.

Oct. 18, 1989 Dear Diary, Hi! Well, here I am again. At this exact moment I am lying on my bed listening to Q107. I've been getting pretty good grades. There's going to be a dance on Friday at St. Stephen's. It's going to be from 7:30 to 10:30. Three whole hours! I'm going to wear my pink skirt and my pink sweater and I'll see if Sarah will put my hair in a French Braid. I can't wait! BYE! P.S. Horseback riding is great!

What follows is an intense and ridiculous documentation, covering several weeks, regarding what happened at the dance, who I had crushes on (as well as who my friends had crushes on), who liked who, and accounts how we did really, super mature things, like call boys using three-way-calling so that they wouldn't know one of us was on the line. The one talking would then ask the boy if he liked the one pretending not to be on the phone, so she could get a personal, real-time boost to the ego, or shot to the heart.

Reading the rest of the diary, to tell the truth, is a little bit like torture. Luckily, there are a few bright spots that outshine the hellish, detailed analysis of my "love life," which consisted of dancing with some boy now and then.

April 10, 1990 I think I've found out a way to tell if a boy likes you (I think there are three ways). 1) He acts very shy around you and tries to look good around you. 2) He always tries to be around you and talks to you a lot and talks about you a lot and tries to impress you. 3) He teases you!

There you have it girls, young Cara Rotondaro's guide to love. Don't thank me for the amazing advice, just go out and USE IT!

After what seems like several trillion more pages on the always-enthralling world of romance with the gang at St. Agnes middle school, I make this telling observation:

May 16, 1990 You know what's happening? Every boy I see I try to make a good impression. I guess I'm getting boy crazy.

Do you think?

Towards the end of the diary I get into acting, and treat that subject with as much crazed enthusiasm as I do horseback riding, so the entries are all, "Boys!" "Acting classes!" "HORSES!" and it's pure joy to reach the end. Of course, I can't finish the damn thing without a little melodrama directed at the book itself:

Oct. 22, 1990 "What would I do without you? You're the only one I can tell everything to. You have always been there. I could always count on you."

Ok, so I was no Anne Frank or anything, at least future generations will have a chance to read true-life coming of age tales delievered by yours truly. Or, they could just read Judy Blume.