Sacrificing in the name of Jesus, take two

I was enjoying a long, hot shower this morning (after sleeping off the rum drinks I had last night at a friend's party), getting ready for a day of perhaps a little work, but definitely heading out to a bar watch the Duke/Carolina game, and definitely not going to church or anything like that, when I realized I'm not really doing this whole Lent thing properly this year. Sure, making an effort to spend less time in front of the computer and more time outside, ensuring the dogs (and me) get exercise, is noble, in it's way, but it's not really sacrifice, you know? And that's what Lent is all about. Giving up something you love in the name of God and self-restraint and getting to tell everyone what you gave up, and then feeling really, really awesome and self-righteous about that. It took only seconds for me to come up with the appropriate indulgence. Something I'd miss, but could certainly survive without, like giving up the things I've given up in the past - television, meat, Fig Newtons - that presented a challenge and, at the 40 days' end, a sense of accomplishment: celebrity gossip. It's not like I'm immersed in the stuff all day long but I do check the website The Superficial on a very regular basis and have been known to throw one or two, um, less-than-intellectual magazines into my basket when I'm at the grocery store picking up some cereal and bananas and whatnot.

So I'll soldier onwards in what's left of this solemn season trying my best to avoid the sagas of Britney and Anna Nicole's baby, although I'm not so naive as to think I'll be able to avoid it altogether. I mean, this is America, after all, and this stuff is showing up on CNN.

Every fucken minute

J and I have had a whirlwind of a week. Last Saturday we flew up to NYC to hang out with my brother, Vinnie, and friends who recently moved to Brooklyn, had a wonderful dinner and then stayed up all night (literally) in bars and in their rather adorable "three bedroom" apartment (the third bedroom lacks doors). Then it was off to Connecticut to see family. J had an interview Monday and so I headed back into the city on Metro North (Bobby, where were you?) to see more friends, spend some quality time with Vinnie, and, in an impulsive move, jump off the subway at the Bleecker St. stop on my way back to Grand Central Station and walk around NYU and The Village as it snowed. I've never loved that city more. While I can't say we've been having a hard time this week, it has been an interesting time. J and I went out to have a drink last night and talk it over (we went to one of our favorite new places in Carrboro, Padgett Station, and ordered the Thursday night special, $4 "vodka-tinis" - J didn't take to his that well, said it tasted "just like a shot of vodka" and I told him to "be a man and finish it," at which point he told me that "finishing a vodka-tini" would not make him "a man").

The thing is, we're at this thrilling point in our lives where, in the near future, we'll be moving someplace new, J will be a post-doc in some great new lab, and I'll (let's really hope) have a new job as well. And again, I can't call this a tough time (see above, we're drinking cutesy cocktails for Christ's sake) but it's a little difficult to get into the right mindset. Excited about what's to come, but resigned to the fact that we'll still be here a while. Happy to stay (our friends, this wonderful place) but anxious to have a finite timetable. Should I look for permanent work? Expand my freelancing career? Plant flowers in the front yard this spring?

Luckily, the moments of uncertainly are bordered by all the fun we're having. And I received an email from my father this morning who, as always, put it all into perspective.

From: Fred Rotondaro To: Cara McDonough Date: Mar 2, 2007

My best advice Be totally honest with everyone Do your very best work. And enjoy every fucken minute. It really is a wonderful life. One o my favorite short stories is thebeast in the jungle by henry james--bout a man who spends his lifewaiting for the perfect love, experience, and misses as he does so, many good things. The dad