Regarding a trip to clean out the Saturn

It's been a funny couple of months, and by funny, I mean a lot of things that might not normally be deemed "funny" have happened thus making our lives actually pretty hilarious. A leak of fairly gargantuan proportions has sprung up underneath our toilet, so that when we do laundry water gushes out from where it meets the floor, soaking the bathroom and recently, the carpet outside the bathroom and now it's kind of seeping into the bedroom. The plumbers have been out several times and can't seem to quite figure it out. This particular problem results in a vicious cycle. We put towels down to stop the rush of water, but then can't wash those towels because doing laundry causes the leak to occur. So a few days ago, when all the towels had been used up for leak-stopping purposes, J and I were drying ourselves off with washcloths after taking a shower.

There have been a few other things. My laptop's wireless internet capabilities have mysteriously shut down, thus making the whole freelancer-who-does-her-work-from-coffee-shops-and-town-hall-meetings rather difficult. A series of exciting, but slightly time-consuming trips to plan - San Francisco this weekend, Chicago for Memorial Day and Hawaii in June - and then the big thing, the thing that's really taken a toll, is the fact that we were in an accident several weekends ago and J's car is totaled.

I realize that seems like kind of a major thing, something I'd mention, but honestly, it's just been a wild ride lately, a wild, but sort of fun ride, and I don't know, we could get annoyed except that it's all sort of entertaining in a weird, challenging way. This is our life. We rarely eat dinner before 9 p.m. if that early. We go away on whirlwind trips. We can't seem to get the hang of paying our bills on time. We live in a rented house that sometimes fosters snakes and mice and relatively large insects, but we're having a lot of fun.

To make matters more interesting, this accident occurred in Richmond. We were headed up north to D.C. for a quick, one-night visit to see some friends and take care of a few things and, I think it's probably too complex to really get into the details on the internet, but we got off the highway to stop at a gas station and got into an accident that was technically J's fault, but totally wasn't, you know what I mean.

Anyway, no one involved was hurt, so we got the car towed to a local body shop, which was an exciting event as Mina and Cecilia were with us and got to ride in the cab. We got a rental and kept driving. See, that's what I mean. When a lot of semi-crazy things happen all the time it's not even that big a deal when you get in a crash and ruin your car. It's just another thing that happened along the way.

After the long, drawn-out process of talking to our insurance company a bunch of times and having them do whatever they do on their end they declared the car (a 2001 Saturn) a total loss, which meant we needed to get back down to Richmond to retrieve any items we'd left in there. And because I usually "work" at home (which sometimes involves copious blog-writing and printing out color maps of the San Francisco Bay area) I offered to drive up yesterday to do that.

Because I was driving over two hours to complete the simple task of picking up a few items we'd been too hurried to collect after the accident occurred, I decided to somehow try and make my trip at least a little enjoyable. J helped me put some new music and podcasts on my iPod. And after I'd visited the body shop, packed up our belongings and said a quiet goodbye to the car, I decided to do something I've never, ever done in all the millions of trips we've made up and down the highway between North Carolina and D.C. - I decided to drive into the city and take a break. A real break. Not a break at the Sheetz gas station, not a break at Taco Bell, not pulling off the highway out of necessity or boredom, but a foray into a real, thriving, urban atmosphere.

I followed the signs to Shockoe Slip, only because I had a vague inkling this was a cute part of Richmond, that maybe I'd been there once before and liked it. Luckily, I was right, so I found a place to park my car and embarked on a little adventure. I browsed in a charming bookstore. I stopped at a Japanese restaurant for lunch, ate at the sushi bar with the other solitary diners, and got completely absorbed in the local weekly paper I'd picked up. Afterwards I took a long walk and checked out a few historic-looking buildings we always see from the highway.

When I got back on the road I was refreshed and happy - I was happy and even relaxed during what I thought was going to be a completely draining and rushed road trip. On my way back down south I listened to whole albums on my iPod - The Shins, The Arcade Fire, The Twilight Singers - it was this calm oasis compared to what life's been like lately.

When I was getting near home I pulled off at a rest stop. I was feeling a little sleepy as a result of the hot sun beating down through the windshield and decided to get a Diet Coke. I almost never drink soda - I think a remnant of my mother's watchful eye when it came to soda and "sugar cereals" when we were children - and it's hard to explain to someone who never drinks the stuff, but it is possible to crave a Diet Coke, crave the harsh bubbles and saccharin sweetness and mild caffeine boost that - and here's the greatest part - doesn't make you fat and Jesus, I wanted a Diet Coke.

The vending area at this particular rest stop included a myriad of vending machines and I put my money in the first one on the row, anxiously awaiting that first sip, but something went haywire and the machine returned my money and yielded no goods. Not wanting to deal with a less than perfect operating system, I tried the next machine, which took my money, kept my money, and produced no soda. This was troubling because I wasn't sure if I had ample change left to try again. I searched my cavernous bag and even marched back to the car to check under the seats, and I was getting extremely nervous - would this row of incompetent vending machines ruin my otherwise wonderful day? - when I pulled out a crumpled dollar bill. I tried yet another machine and was granted a Diet Coke that was not only cold, but so cold that some of the soda had frozen. A partially frozen Diet Coke on a hot day when I needed it most - could life get any better? No. And so I drove onward back towards the chaos, enjoying those last few moments of solitude and quiet before arriving back at our busy, ridiculous little house, that probably, right now, could also classify as a swamp.

Happy 29th birthday to my husband

I thought for a while today about what kind of post I could write to commemorate J's birthday, and then realized, you know what? You've all heard enough from me. So I asked a few people if they could tell me their favorite thing about J so I could post their thoughts on my blog. And they delivered. And I didn't even have to threaten them. These are the things people love about you, J: (Happy Birthday!)

My favorite memory of Justin was the night The Black Udder took on their ultimate feat. It was a week before we graduated from high school. It had been a long standing tradition to spray paint this giant rock that sat at the entrance of the school. Kids would secretly paint it in the middle of the night. Well, spray paint was so 80's, so we got a little more creative. The 3 of us (The Black Udder) decided to take heaps of sod, that had been torn up at the church in an effort to put a new side walk in, and sod over the rock so that it would look like a giant lump in the grass. Back and forth from the church to the school with trash cans of heavy sod. We laughed like crazy! Then the cops came. It got feisty. Apparently the law enforcement of Woodbridge has no problem with teenagers and spray paint but extra grass....is going too far. In the end we lost the battle. We were forced to dump the sod in the woods and sweep off the rock. It was the most adventurous night, just me, Geoff and ....oh, wait, Justin never came! It was Kristen. Justin was too lame to come out on a school night to have a little fun with the Black Udder. Boo Justin. And poor Kristen wasn't even in the group. She risked walking for graduation just to try to recognized by our superior membership committee. But where were you?? - Eileen P.

J's Uncle Bobby and family sent this amazing photo tribute:

Tiger Beat tigerbeat

Turn Ons: Puppys dogs, long walks, sunsets, bluebirds, white birch beer

Turn Offs: Tuberculosis, unibrows

I guess one of my favorite memories was driving back from winter break with Justin and my college roommate, Diana. Diana was infamous for getting pulled over for speeding...and very early on in the trip, we got pulled over on the Jersey Turnpike. And as Diana and I were scrambling in the front seat to find her registration, etc., Justin was in the backseat pretending to fight the policeman w/ his Darth Vader piggy bank that he had gotten for X-mas.

Also humorous, was the time he found my sister's breast pump at my house in CT. Yeah, that was awesome. Right out of a sitcom stereotypically awesome. I'm sure if I haven't told you this story already, you probably can see it play out in your mind. But he picked it up and started playing with it and repeatedly asked what it was. I didn't want to really draw attention to it, and figured he'd put it down and forget about it. But of course he couldn't. So he kept examining it and then he asked if it was for the baby...and i was like 'well...kinda...indirectly." "No...seriously...what is it? Why won't you just tell me?" "It's my sister's breast pump." And with that the breast pump was dropped to the ground. - Kristen McC

Although the story is a little fuzzy on my end it goes something like this... Justin comes over to my place, plays the card game asshole, wanders outside, pukes in the bushes and then passes out smack dab in the middle of the driveway... where I'm pretty sure my parents find him a little while later (and narrowly avoid running him over) upon returning from something or other... All in all a pretty damn good night! - Geoff S.

My favorite thing about Justin is the fact that’s he’s so enthusiastic about all the things that are important to him in his life and he’s not afraid to let other know about it: aka TB, Birds, Cara, etc… - Manpreet H.

(J's labmate and our good friend Nate sent me a comment but I can't post it here because children sometimes read.)

I like how he loves to get naked in dark rooms and stand on tables, but runs for cover faster than a greyhound if someone turns on the lights....faster still if that person who turned on the lights also has a camera in hand. - Tom O.

Number 1 is that Justin and cara are so in love --so happy--having a great life amnd will continue to have a great life. Number 2. Justin is serious, focused, yet with a great sense of humor. The combination of scientist and bird nut makes for an interestin son in law. - Fred R.

Besides all of the wonderful things that dad said, all of which I completely agree with, Justin takes wonderful care of you, he always asks to help with anything that needs to be done, he has increased our knowledge of birds (especially bluebirds, which we had at the Bay without even knowing it) and he can make technological things work. - Kathy R.

My favorite memory of justin was when i first met him and it was at that christmas party during that ...difficult...time so i felt like i really had to scrutinize him carefully and put him through the ringer and i think after just a few minutes (perhaps it was only one :) of talking to him i pulled you aside and said "cara, i LOVE him". i was a total failure as the scary "what are you doing/ what are your intentions with my friend" friend. he passed the boyfriend test with flying colors. :) ...and another memory just occured to me too...at justin's first ashby court---naked swimming---pj making---house party he ended up sitting on the floor of the dining room playing guitar for a small crowd of people WELL into the night...it was awesome. like a campfire in your house...which was exactly what had been missing at the previous parties... - Sarah E.

I'm always excited to hear about his newest personal growth challenges (like giving up elevator riding, or running all the streets of Chapel Hill). - Sherry K.

I love how Justin works day in and day out with a wonderful bacteria, Tuberculosis, and yet is scared of crickets...especially flying crickets. He reminds me that we don't always have to be rational adults and that even some of the smart ones have fears. Happy Birthday J! - Becky O.

(If you'd like you can add your own thoughts in the comments sections and I'll keep updating as I get more emails...)