Tonight I decided to open some wine and see if my children might like to help me write a review of it for today's post. Wait, before you call the authorities, I did not let them drink it.

We checked out Francis Ford Coppola's Director's Cut 2014 Alexander Valley, Sonoma County Cabernet Sauvignon. Our good friend Nate thoughtfully gave it to us when he visited us this weekend. Thank you, Nate!

I asked the kids to smell the wine, which presented a delightfully bold and intoxicating scent right out of the bottle.

Nora helpfully suggested that it smelled like: "EWWWWWWW. Ew. Grapes that have been run over by a truck."

Gabriel pointed out that its deep color was like, "red and blue and black and purple all mixed together."

I explained that it tasted wonderful. Velvety. But by that point my fellow reviewers had engaged in a new activity, where they lie on the top of the couch and then slowly roll down to the floor...at the same time. Gabriel said that, "the point of this game is to get hurt." Please lord let it be spring soon.

1. Reggae pumped through the speakers at a swimming pool

2. No children taking baths ever, instead just regularly getting in previously mentioned pool

4. Midday drinks with zero guilt

5. Rum

6. Conch fritters

7. Hotel coffee

8. Chatting with strangers over hotel coffee about how "good" your kids are, because they catch you in an unlikely moment when your son is playing quietly which is not even remotely like real life

9. Not watching the news obsessively

10. Not having art supplies available for your kids so they can't mess up a room as quickly as they usually do, and nobody misses being able to make like 15 pictures of monsters in rapid succession, by the way

11. Walking, not driving

12. Constantly misplacing sunglasses

Wine review with my kids: Francis Ford Coppola Director's Cut Cabernet

Things that immediately signify vacation