thoughts that occured before 7:30 a.m this morning

I feel stupid in this shirt


but sometimes you have to forgo your constitutional rights for like just a few seconds in the name of protecting our country you bastards


"smoothie in the diaper!" = that wasn't enough coffee I just had, it turns out


this is uncivilized THIS IS UNCIVILIZED


the shade of blue in this other shirt is the same shade as my pants which seems too matchy and bordering on senior citizen wardrobe territory


please, powers that be, I will sacrifice everything I have if I do not have to engage in this pants vs. shorts controversy for one moment longer, which I did not ask to be a part of in the first place and, while I am trying to be understanding about my five-year-old's strong feelings on the topic, is making me question all my life choices, all of them


it's only 7:23 a.m. and I have already waged war and carefully orchestrated necessary compromises, so I'm gonna wear a shirt that makes me feel good about myself!


the toddlers's got a ball point pen and I'm gonna let that one go  


choose your battles!


you are in control!


you are moderately in control


today is the day I sell a book idea


I have done a terrible job at not eating pork after I recently found out how smart pigs are


ok, concentrate, that was a practice run, day