The baby/non-baby list

After almost a full year of parenting this child, I've learned a few things, and perhaps one of the most important aspects of this learning process has been figuring out how much I can get done when Nora is awake. Sure, I should be spending those hours interacting fully with her. I know. But you want the real deal? Ok. FORGET IT. If I played with Nora every single second that she was awake, I wouldn't ever eat! Or sneak glances at The Superficial!

But in all seriousness, at this stage Nora takes some serious looking after, because, nowadays, all it takes her is a split second to make her way to the stairs, where she rapidly starts climbing. Or to the toilet, and do you know what she likes to do when she gets to the toilet? Put her hands in. Did you hear that, Dad? Your granddaughter likes to put her hands in the toilet water. Just something to keep in mind when the two of you are hanging out next.

So I have this casual set of rules about what I can and cannot do when I'm watching her by myself and, over time, the set of rules has changed, because I've realized I can actually do a lot when Nora's awake, as long as I deal with the situation the right way. Like, if I want her to hang out in her bouncy seat in the bathroom while I'm taking a shower, she needs two toys to play with. Not just one. If I give her the ladle and a big salad bowl, she'll play on the kitchen floor for a pretty long time while I do the dishes.

Lately I've been finding myself doing this or that while Nora's napping and thinking, "Wait a sec, could I do this when she's awake? Damn straight I could!" Because when you really get down to it, the non-baby hours are best utilized by doing stuff you absolutely, one hundred percent cannot do while the baby is on the go. And yes, that includes getting a pedicure, but it also includes writing a novel and launching a brilliant career. Which I may or may not be doing. Ok, whatever, I'm not.

Here are some examples of what I'm talking about:

Things I Can Do While Nora Is Awake

take a shower drink a cup of coffee (in a semi-relaxed state) watch the news laundry do the dishes take the dogs for a walk run errands have a phone conversation go out to eat go to the bathroom start making dinner

Things I Can Only Do When Nora Is Asleep or Elsewhere, or J Is Home

get a pedicure drink a cup of coffee (in a totally relaxed state) watch a movie read a book or the newspaper have an important phone conversation finish making dinner read emails and write back write a blog post

An open letter to Mike Swimm

Dear Mike, Hi! How's it going? How's Chapel Hill? We miss it there. And we miss you and Jess.

Mike, you know what? I've always appreciated that we tend to have the same taste in certain things. In fact, we often hate the same things, which is kinda neat. Like non-useful hippies. And music! There is so much music that we both hate! The Decemberists. The Goddamn Fleet Foxes.

I trust your judgment. I mean, The Twilight Singers show at Cat's Cradle? That was seriously incredible, and I'd never even listened to them before. One of the most memorable concerts I ever attended in North Carolina, Mike.

And remember when we went to see LCD Soundsystem? That was radical.

So when I was filling up my iPod for a recent road trip, looking at the albums J had most recently uploaded onto our desktop, I saw this artist called SND, and I was like, "Hey J, what's SND?" and he went on to describe it as something like "minimal blip hop" or "blip bop" or "blip rock" or something - I don't really remember if you want to know the truth - and then he said, "It's Mike Swimm's favorite album of the year!" and I thought, "Ok, could be promising."

We don't agree on everything, Mike, like I think I remember you once saying that New Order would have been a better band if there hadn't been any singing, and I don't agree with you there, but like I said, I trust your judgment. Therefore, I thought maybe SND's album, which is called "Atavism" would be full of subtle, wordless songs that I could at least appreciate, meanwhile expanding my musical purview. Score!

I was pumped for this road trip. For the first time in a long time I was getting into new music and it was exciting. I put my iPod on "shuffle songs" and just let it go. Everything sounded so incredible and new.

That is, until this one song came on. Or maybe "song" is the wrong word. Maybe "piece" would be a better way to describe what SND (what the hell does SND stand for anyway?) is trying to do.

Mike, I know you like minimal blip blop or whatever, but come on.

MIKE.

COME.

ON!

Those SND tracks, that are, by the way, creatively titled "1," "2," "3" and so on, they sound like, well, like someone gently tapping a metal hanger against the hood of a car. But more boring. I'm going to admit something here, and that is that I didn't listen to any entire SND songs. The most I listened to was one full minute of one song and I had to force myself. You know why I had to force myself? Because SND makes music that sounds like this: duh duh duh duh duh dum dum duh duh duh duh duh dum dum dahdum, real quiet. And then the song's over.

Ok, fine, maybe I'm not the right target audience or something. For instance, I'm the kind of person who likes Van Morrison, and I think, by law, that people who like musicians such as Van Morrison can't like music devoid of all emotion. That was probably made by a guy dressed in black, sitting in front of a sound board, smoking a cigarette, reading "The Stranger."

It's ok, though. I don't get it, but it's ok. We're still friends and we can agree to disagree on this one point. Different strokes for different folks, huh? That's what makes the world an interesting place. I mean, you're crazy. But life is awesome!

I hope everything is going well and we should plan a get together.

See you soon!

Cara

PS - I tried the Penne a la Vodka recipe from The Silver Spoon cookbook and, you're right, it's amazing.