Durham is better than Chapel Hill: A campaign

I know that by writing this I will incur the wrath of Chapel Hill natives and Chapel Hill lovers and most of the general public, and probably receive angry comments (reality check - maybe one comment, if I am lucky) regarding the idiocy of the above post title, but if you really think about it, come on guys, Durham is better. Sometimes when I say I'd like to spend some time in Durham people say things like, "Ha. You'd like to get mugged, you mean," and other ridiculous statements that make it clear to me that these people think Durham is the most dangerous place ever and have definitely never been to other places, like Jamaica, where, I kid you not, while on spring break, 2000, my friend Slavomir followed some guy into the woods to "check out the availability of a banana boat ride" for all of us and the guy said he would have to take him to see his boss and then, like, I swear, brandished a huge knife. Also, one time a nice man with a tiny hankerchief covering his privates approached me while I was wandering around one the beach, smiled, asked me, "Do you have any Jamaican in you?" and when I said no, replied, "Would you like to?"

None of those things has ever happened to me in Durham. In fact, I've had wonderful and interesting experiences there.

Yesterday I met Jen after her work day was over for a drink at the James Joyce Pub. I had been there only a couple times but remembered it as such a cozy, fun little place. So we went and drank Guinness and sweated because it is hot as hell and watched the regulars at the bar as they greeted one another and told stories. I'm telling you, these people were awesome. First of all, most of them, or so it seemed, were actually from Ireland or England or some other country and as we all know, hanging out with a multi-cultural crowd in a bar, or just in life, is what everyone strives for. Diversity. Furthermore, most people were drinking Guiness or something similar to it and not any sissy Chapel Hill drinks.

I know I can't judge the appeal of an entire place on one little bar, but I'm going to. It pretty much sums it up. I'm not going to start shunning Chapel Hill or anything crazy like that, because the truth is I love living there and I could probably, I mean, when you really get down to it, reverse this argument and say Chapel Hill is the better place. I like to pull for the underdog, however. I could also say that San Francisco, or New York City or D.C., for instance, pummels these little southern towns in the ass, but let's stick to the subject. I'll meet you guys in Durham.