Guess what? That's too many exclamation points.

My old friend Sarah recently contacted via email to tell me she'd just gone through some old boxes and found many letters I'd written to her when we were both precious girls of 12 and 13. And for me, by "precious" I mean: Had huge pink, plastic-framed glasses and very stylish (very stylish), fluffy hair. I just got the letters in the mail and read them this morning over a large cup of coffee. I decided to post one here for your enjoyment, and depending on the response, maybe more. This particular gem was written during a family vacation. I could edit and change spelling errors, but I won't allow myself, I've decided. You need to see it in its honest, complete form. It's a good thing the incident I describe didn't happen after I reached adulthood, because apparently I was a lot braver as a kid. Now, I'd be scouring the airplane, looking for some Xanax, I'm pretty sure. But can you say "neurotic flyer in the making?" Jesus.

I really think this is an excellent indication that I'd grow up to be a writer. Especially the parts where I talk about breakfast. Seriously, the breakfast stuff is borderline pornographic.  

July 15, 1991

Dear Sarah,

Hey! Well, here I am about 30,000 feet in the air. If you guessed I'm on a plane, you're right! Good guess! Do you like this paper? There was this lady who had it and it was the only paper I could get so I took it.

Guess what happened? See we boarded the plane at 7:10 and it left and all and then it had a problem so we had to go back to the airport! After about 30 minutes we had to go back! Now we're on this plane and everything's going fine. It's not broken, like the other one. The other plane had like a broken nose gear or something. You couldn't tell that but you could tell that something was wrong. See, the plane kept on turning and we weren't very high off the ground. I'll have to admit, I was scared. But now everything is perfectly fine! I like this plane a lot more than the other one. This one feels more secure or something.

I'm sitting on a window seat. It's a great view. I love it when we go by a pool. It looks so blue and tiny from up here.

Hey breakfast is coming! Great, I absolutely love airplane meals (sike!)

This plane is only going to St. Louis. Then we'll take a plane from St. Louis to Arizona. We're going to see the Grand Canyon there and then on Thursday we're going to take a plane from Arizona to California.

This is a great plane ride! No turbulants or anything! It's perfectly calm.

I want breakfast! I'm hungry! Oh, hey, the pilot just made an announcement that we "just leveled at 35,000 feet. And also, we're going over the Mississippi." That's a nice change to hear instead of hearing "there's a problem with the nose gear. We'll get back to you after we find more out about this problem. Thanks!" That's not exactly something you want to hear when you're on a plane!

I'm sitting next to my brother. On the other plane we couldn't sit next to each other so I guess something good did come out of switching planes.

Oh, hey, breakfast isn't here. It's just drinks and stuff. Or maybe it is breakfast. I don't know! I can't tell from here.

You know what! Me and Vinnie don't know where our parents are! My mom and dad are somewhere on this plane, but we have no idea where. Oh well! Just as long as they're on the plane!

Ooooh, it is breakfast, and I'm about to get it! Hey it looks good! I'm gonna eat it and then I'll get back to you!

I ate breakfast! It was good. Really - I mean I'm not lying. Well, I've explained everything to you, so I'd better go. I'll write to you from Arizona and California. I miss you!