I got laid off last week. I feel very relevant. Very 2009. I was working part time - three days a week - so the let down isn't going to be as hard as it would have been had I been working full time. Still, those days were a big deal for me. I'd always assumed I would go back to work full time after my maternity leave. When I didn't, I had to adjust my life outlook.
I liked it, though. I liked having free days to spend with Nora, although non-working days are, to be honest, sometimes hard for me. I know that sounds like complaining about having too much ice cream, but it's true. This is why I think motherhood is tough, especially when moms stay at home (working parents obviously face challenges of their own, but that would take a whole other post.) Not only does the job require constant attention almost 100 percent of the time, but it can be a little isolating. You miss the intellectual stimulation of a day out. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure your day at the office was hard, too, but did you get poop on your hand? No? Then I don't want to hear about it.
Also, an individual's personality comes into play and unstructured days are definitely not my strength. I tend to excel at days where you have 2 or 3 or maybe 4 things planned and you've got to figure out how you're going to do them all.
So that's my immediate worry, I guess. That I've suddenly been thrown into a new lifestyle and I'm worried I won't handle it well. Beyond the lack of income, and the fact that the journalism field is really floundering right now and I don't know how or when I'm going to get another job, that's the issue: an endless expanse of unstructured days spent mostly at home.
Breathe in, breathe out.
On the other hand, I realize how totally ungrateful I sound complaining about something like this. Here I am, living in a house, with food and clothes and a very supportive family, with my wonderful husband and daughter - who is AWESOME to hang out with, by the way - and I'm like, "Really? Temporary joblessness? I don't think that's gonna work out." Come on, woman, get a grip.
I know, too, that there are many mothers who make the most of this situation. They are not only incredibly moms, but incredible people in general.
Realistically, I know that this will be a little blip on my own personal timeline. That I should shut up and enjoy it and wait for whatever comes next.
So, with "Ulysses" in hand (it's definitely time), and an open mind, that's what I'll do.